


Beautiful Saviour

by Butterflyfish



Series: Getting to know Daryl Dixon. [8]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: And all the usual - Freeform, Blood, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gore, I missed you guys, Jesus finally, Love, Lust, Sex, Swearing, Violence, Welcome back story, ok there will be blood, there may be blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-07-14 05:31:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7155647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Butterflyfish/pseuds/Butterflyfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the previous Episode in the series - The Kindness of Strangers -  Daryl and Rick start going out looking for survivors, leaving Abra at home and out of trouble.<br/>They find Jesus.<br/>So much for staying out of trouble!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, It's been a while since I added to the series, and I apologise so much for this. I've missed these two guys, and couldn't wait to bring you more, but it had to be right, and it had to be perfect, and some of my ideas, my bunnies, were too far in the future. I couldn't leave you with big gaps in the story.
> 
> Obviously we are canon non-canon. Spoiler warnings apply but don't hold your breath for them to be true to the TV series! 
> 
> So here I am. 
> 
> I bring you Jesus.

I sat on the edge of the bed watching Daryl tie his boot laces. He was off out again into the wilds on a run with Rick, to look for survivors and supplies. We were running low on everything, and it had been a terrible year for the crops.

Not a single bud and almost May.

Still, with Maggie now in charge of the Democratic side of life – After Deanna’s untimely death at the hands of a herd breaking in, our third herd since we got here - I was the new school Mistress, so I had a job to do, something to keep my mind occupied at least.

“Where you headed?” I asked, only a little jealous that he was leaving without me. I hadn’t been out since… well, for a long time. He looked up at me from his booted feet, and shrugged as best he could.

“Dunno. East I think. We’re getting’ further and further out. Whole damn State’s runnin’ outta supplies” I stood up and went to him, taking his head in my hands and pressing it against my belly in an awkward hug.

“Back tonight?” He nodded against me and hummed the positive. I thought again of his mugging in the woods, protecting us from the herd, and how he’d lost his crossbow. He didn’t seem right without it, and I worried.

“You better be” I said, taking his face in my palms and leaning down to kiss him firmly on the mouth. I’d not been feeling well, and though I had a date with Dr. Denise, nothing made me feel better than having my family together. He stood and lifted me by the knees as I kissed him, and I squealed in delight, though an altogether different noise came from the doorway.

“Ugh, Gross” Daryl, now practically on top of me, jumped up and turned to Charlie.

“Any requests today buddy?” Charlie nodded vehemently.

“Yeah. Stop _sexing_ my mom” I bit my cheek hard but couldn’t stop the guffaw that flew from my mouth. The way he said sexing was so violent, like Daryl was indeed checking if I were a male or female specimen.

“What?” Daryl was stunned “Where d’ya hear that? Ya even know what ya asking?” Daryl turned to me, almost looking for help but I couldn’t stop laughing. “He’s seven” he said with purpose “Jesus Christ” Charlie had gone a little red and shrugged coyly. I looked at him, still grinning to myself.

“I think it’s time” I said, I’d spoken to Daryl about talking to Charlie. He’d been full of questions just lately. Babies, sex, love. Daryl would need to have a frank discussion with him soon.

“Ain’t gonna be me” Daryl muttered, leaning back to his boot which had come untied as he threw me on the bed. I rolled my eyes and looked at Charlie, who was growing redder.

“I know ya talkin’ bout me” he said, and if I didn’t know better I’d swear he really _was_ Daryl’s son. His hair was growing darker every year, his bright blue eyes had deepened a shade, and he stood there, huffing, his arms crossed, little thumbs sticking out of his fists by his armpits.

Just like Daryl.

* * *

With Charlie lookin’ between us with his big wide eyes I felt uncomfortable.

“Brush ya teeth” I said to him without lookin’ up, n I heard him scamper off toward the bathroom. I looked up at Abra, sitting on the bed lookin’ all innocent n like butter wouldn’t melt. “He’s seven, Abs. How’m’ I gonna explain… that… to a seven year old. Weren’t never explained to me, I had to learn on my own.” Abra coloured a little again,

“Hence Alyson?” I pulled a face, not warrantin’ that any answer. She looked suitably sorry, n I din’t wanna argue just moments before I left. She stood and walked over to me, linking her hands behind my neck and smiling up into my face. “It’ll keep” she said, n I knew she meant Charlie “But soon, Daryl, How about I tell you what needs to be said? He’s not gonna want to hear it from me, believe me. If my dad had so much at hinted at periods at that age I’d have wanted to shoot myself.” She shrugged.

“I gotta go” I said, lookin’ down at her. “I’ll be back tonight” I kissed her mouth, havin’ to pull away sharply before she or I got any ideas. “Requests?” I asked her, but she shook her head.

“Just come home in one piece.” She said, kissin’ me softly then removing her hands from around me. I nodded.

“Always” I replied, honestly meaning it, “Don’t forget ya appointment with Denise” I headed out of the bedroom door, callin’ for Charlie to say goodbye as I went.

* * *

 

I wondered, as we sat in the car listenin' to that Goddamned Ronnie Dee again, if I could ask Rick about how to speak to Charlie. He must’a had the conversation with Carl. I looked at him sideways, and I must’a still looked pissed about the song ‘cause He started clickin’ his fingers and laughin’.

Even he din’t like Ronnie Dee that much.

Jerk.

“It’s gonna be a good day” He said over the music “Gonna get us some supplies, maybe some people, maybe get home before it gets dark” I shook my head

“Ain’t seen no one for weeks, I reckon that ain’t a bad thing”

“Law of Averages, Daryl, It’s gotta add up, sooner or later” I snorted at that. The law of Averages could kiss my ass. I din’t wanna find no one. Last time I tried to help anyone they stabbed me in the back, luckily not literally.

 I just wanted to get supplies n go home to the wife n kid. In one piece, as promised.

promises were gettin' harder to keep. 

* * *

I stared at Denise, knowing my eyes were wide and my mouth open. She looked at me, then began to look concerned when I didn't say anything.

I closed my mouth, and opened it again, feeling like I had no control of the actions my face was doing in the aftermath of her diagnosis.

"No" I managed, then swallowed "no it's impossible" I focussed on her in front of me. "This can't be happening" she shrugged

"It might not be, but it's something to be aware of." She got up and headed over to a rack of leaflets on the wall. She picks one out and handed it to me. "There's a lot of information in here. Rick and Daryl took a list from me this morning, what I might need for you is on the list. Just keep it in mind for the next couple days, speak to Daryl and come back to me" I took the leaflet and stood.

"Thanks" I muttered, turning away, but my legs felt like Jello and there was no way I could walk out. I gripped onto the chair for dear life as if I might suddenly fall without it.

"It's a shock" she said, placing her hand on mine "it might be nothing"

"And if it's something?" I ask astounded. "What do we do if it's something" She gave me a small smile helping me to the other side of the infirmary.

"I'm always here, door's always open, okay? We're better equipped for this than it looks." I blinked in the sunlight as the door opened onto the street. The world seemed too noisy to be real, and I began to feel a little faint. "Woah" I heard Denise behind me, and she grabbed my elbow "easy there. When did you last eat?" I shrugged.

"I've been feeling nauseous" I muttered. She nodded.

"Why don't you just sit here for a bit? The kids'll be fine, I'll send Tara over" but I shook my head absently, wondering what the Hell I was going to say to Daryl, and Charlie.

How were we going to explain this to poor Charlie?

* * *

 We found a truck, the mother load, in an old mill. Stocked to the roof with food, medicine, hygiene products. It felt like Christmas.

Rick wasn't humble about bein' right.

"Law of averages" he said with a grin on his face as he checked the ignition and found the keys.

"Right" I said, turnin' away.

"Do you miss it?" I pulled a face at him "the 'bow" I shrugged

"Only when people mention it" I said with a smile threatenin' on my own lips. His joy was infectious. N now we could go home with a truck full'a shit I was happy. We climbed in the truck, Rick goin' on about comin' back for the car. I just agreed if only to get home before we found any people. We din't need people. People were shit n they could go on bein' shit on their own.

"Charlie's been askin' Abra 'bout sex" I blurted as Rick started the car. He turned in his seat to face me.

"He's seven" I nodded

"I know. Just this Mornin' he told me to 'stop sexin' his mom" Rick burst out laughin'

"Well, you do fuck an awful lot" he said, backin' outta the garage with a stupid grin on his face. I snorted.

"That ain't the problem" I said "or any of ya business" I felt myself smirk a little though. "he wants to know where babies come from" I continued "no one ever had that conversation with me n I dunno what to do." Rick tape the steerin' wheel to some tune he could hear in his head, irritatin' the life outta me with his stupid smile and his cheerful attitude. He nodded at an abandoned gas station and pulled us up to it.

"Carl once caught Lori jerkin' me off in the bath" I nodded appreciatively "I'm not giving you tips" He said "listen. We told him she was rubbing it better, cause I hurt it." I was still likin' the idea of a rub in the tub. "He was about Charlie's age. Until you start finding discarded tissues and crispy bed sheets you've nothing to worry about." I screwed my face up.

"Nice" Rick shrugged, gettin' out of the truck.

"Facts of life are a fascinating and beautiful thing. But 7 is too young." I followed him out, hoppin' down onto the asphalt, with no idea how much life was about to change. 


	2. Chapter 2

Daryl finally rolled in after dark. Charlie was already in bed asleep. He collapsed on the couch almost instantly, looking exhausted. I perched next to him, and he turned and kissed my forehead

"Hey baby." He said quietly, "good day?" I shrugged, unsure of what to say, so I turned the question back on him. He answered with an enormous sigh.

"That bad?" He snorted at that, and turned to face me.

"Found Jesus" he said and it was my turn to snort.

"Father Gabriel will be pleased" I laughed. But Daryl wasn't laughing, he just looked at me all stern and narrow eyed.

"Nah. Really. Guy who calls himself Jesus. He's in the cell"

"Jesus? Really? And you brought him back?" He nodded slowly.

"Rick's idea. I wan'ed to leave the prick in a tree." I laughed at that, typical Daryl. "Ain't funny. The douche ruined a truck loada supplies, knockin' himself out in the damn process n now he's usin' up supplies we don't have bein' looked after by Denise."

"Jesus" I exclaimed, and he gave me his single nod.

"Yup" he got up, which seemed a bit of a struggle. "I gotta turn in. Gonna have to chat with the guy in the Mornin'." He eyed me suspiciously. "Y'ok?" I nodded far too enthusiastically.

I wasn't ready to talk to him. I'd need his full attention and we were both half asleep. It would keep. It would have to. His eyes narrowed a little more, but he let it go.

We headed for the stairs, Daryl barely lifting his feet. He stopped half way up and turned to me behind him.

"Rick had a good idea" he said with the ghost of a smile on his lips. I pursed my lips at him, he had a look in his eyes I knew all too well.

"Thought you were exhausted" I noted, and he shrugged at me, turning for the stairs again.

"Had a rough day, need to relax" he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. I rolled my eyes, safe in the knowledge that he couldn't see me with his back turned.

"Firstly, we don't need any new ideas" I said quietly as we reached the landing. "Secondly it's our private life. Hey, Daryl, why are you talking to Rick about our private life?" Daryl smirked at me as he opened the bedroom door.

"Weren't like that. I asked him about Charlie and all his questions." I nodded, I guessed he would. Rick must've had the experience with Carl. "Carl caught Lori whacking Rick off in the tub" I gasped, high pitched and girly, and Daryl turned to look at me.

"In the tub?" I said quietly, shutting the bedroom door. "That sounds hygienically sound to you?" His face dropped a little, and I couldn't help but smile. "Can you imagine trying to scoop it up and flick it out?" I said gesturing by cupping my hands. He shook his head.

"I guess." I smiled at him.

"I have a much better idea" I moved close to him and put my hand in his filthy hair. His face lit up as I pointed to the en suite "Warm up the shower and I'll show you" I whispered.

* * *

 

We were supposed to meet Jesus in the cell, Abra wasn't gonna come but Carl was gonna watch Charlie, Judith n Hershel so we all headed over together. She was quiet, not herself, but as we headed over to Rick n Michonne's I noticed the door was hangin' open n there was a mass of noise comin' from the stairs. I darted in to find Carl holdin' a gun to the little prick's face.

The sneaky fucker had got out. Somehow. 

Abra bounded up the stairs behind me, just as Rick came out into the hallway, half naked with Michonne behind him. I heard her sharp intake of breath behind me, but nothing was said. The long haired prick stood up, cool as a damned cucumber and said

"Shall we?" I wanted to punch him there n then, but Abra's hand was on my arm in an instant n I reigned myself in.

As we turned for the dinin' room I saw Maggie n Glenn had also arrived, all to see the new stranger who called himself Jesus and could perform the miracle of gettin' outta the holding cell and in Rick's house without bein' noticed.

"You said we should talk, so talk" Rick said once everyone was seated in the dinin' room. I stayed on my feet, in case the little prick tried out one of his miracle escapes again.

Turned out he was from a community, and they wanted to trade. Also turned out the slimy shit had checked out all of Alexandria before he rudely interrupted Rick n Michonne in the depths of the afterglow.

I couldn't help but sneer at him, n when he turned to Abra I almost stepped forward to stop him.

"We have an obstetrician" he said pointedly, very much to her, with a weird twinkle in his big blue eyes. Abra's cheeks pinked a little and she shrugged.

"That's good to know" she said quietly, not lookin' directly at him.  
Probably blinded by his stupid fuckin' shiny white teeth.

* * *

 

Jesus was an absolute delight to behold, I'm not going to lie.

Daryl's hate for him emanated through his very pores, and I was embarrassed that I couldn't stop sneaking curious glances at him.  
I wondered how he kept his hair so shiny, his teeth so white.

But he'd snuck his way around our home, and the thought of that made me feel dirty. He turned his attention to me suddenly, feeling the need to mention the Hilltop's resident doctor.

I felt my eyes grow wide and suddenly became overly interested in the grain on the table beneath my hands.

"That's good to know" I said, wondering why the hell he thought I'd be interested in that news. I could feel everyone's eyes on me for a second, though when I looked back up it was just Daryl's confused state I had to deal with.

Rick and the others made a plan to visit the Hilltop, see what we were dealing with. Daryl, of course, would go too.  
I wasn't invited. I was never invited anywhere anymore. Too risky. Took too many chances, and put myself in danger.

"I want to come with you" I took Daryl's arm gently as we walked back to our own home. He turned to face me, one eyebrow cocked and his mouth a thin straight line. I read his mind before he even opened his mouth.

"No" he said simply. Not angry, not forceful, just no.

"Why?" I asked him, irritation bubbling in my chest. He didn't own me. I'd stayed inside the walls all this time for my own benefit, for Charlie's, not anyone else. Not Rick, not Daryl. He knew that. He must have known that. He knew he couldn't control me. "I'll follow you anyway. So let me come with you where you can see me." I tried as a compromise, but he shook his head.

"No" he said again, clear and concise and so infuriating for its lack of explanation. I rolled my eyes at him, purely to illicit some sort of actual reaction from him, and though annoyance flickered over his features, he didn't say a word. I chewed on my lip to keep from yelling. It was early, a lot of residents were asleep, and we were outside.

I tried one last ditch effort.

"If we trade with these people, then they are going to be in and out of Alexandria, strangers. Around my son. I want to meet them first." Daryl rolled his shoulders and turned to the house.

"I'm going" he said. "I can work them out." He huffed a little, and I shook my head, following him inside.

"You haven't been out for months" he said as we entered the lounge "how do I know you won't freak out on me the minute we're out there?" This felt like progress, this wasn't a no.

"I won't. You know I won't. Do you have any idea how much I miss it?" He glared at me through his hair, but didn't answer. "I hate being sheltered like some kind of naive kid. I stay here because of Charlie. But I need to come with you this time. The farm is mine, the trade we will be doing with these people could be my produce."

"Farms everyone's" he cut in. "Produce is all of ours. We'll all be trading. I ain't takin' over 50 people down there with me" I turned my face to the ceiling, and huffed out a lungful of air.

"You infuriating dick" I whispered "you know what I mean" I looked back at him and he was stony faced.

"Look, Abs, it's not gettin' better out there. I was shot at, I was backstabbed, n I coulda been killed, you think I want that for you? You, who dives in with both feet to every situation?"

"You can't stop me" I said, looking back at him. I headed for the kitchen, hoping to get a decent breakfast before we went in our little excursion. The animals would need feeding, cleaning, and turning out too,

If I could get that done...

"I can make it difficult for ya, though" he said, closer behind me than I thought he was. He went to the cupboard and pulled out a pan, knowing exactly what I was doing. When had we got so boring? This was so mundane and normal. Eggs for breakfast, on toast if we were lucky. But with dry supplies dwindling just lately, and the crops doing so badly, we were shit out of luck.

I got the eggs out of the fridge, but I couldn't crack them open.  
I held one in my hand, just about to smash the edge against the pan Daryl had got for me, but I couldn't do it.

* * *

 

She stood there, one hand on the pan handle n one with an egg in. She looked at the egg, n just stood there. I thought maybe she was thinkin' up a new argument. Somethin' else I'd hafta grit my teeth n say no to, but she din't. She din't say a word, but she flew from the room, droppin' the egg as she went, which cracked and spread on the floor tiles.

A mess, a wasted egg, n no more arguments. This din't feel anythin' like Abra.


	3. Chapter 3

Daryl was calling my name but I didn't trust myself to answer him. He knocked on the bathroom door and let himself in. I'd not had the time to lock it. He looked at me sitting on the floor with my back against the tub, my legs bent in front of me, my head down.

"Abra what the hell?" I looked up slowly, knowing my face would be pale and my eyes glassy. I'd managed not to throw up. I didn't think I'd ever be able to look at an egg again though. The thought of it made me so queasy. I felt like dirt. Actual dirt.

I tried to remember exactly what the doctors had said to me about my infertility, my chances of ever having kids, the likelihood of getting pregnant and carrying to term. It was highly improbable. I knew that much.

But here I sat, feeling like crap and probably looking worse. Little  
Doubt in my mind that a small collection of cells was growing and changing inside me.

"I need to come with you" I said carefully. "I have to" Daryl's eyes narrowed to slits and he eyed me carefully.

"Abs?" I sighed heavily and leaned the back of my head against the tub. I went to speak but no words came, and I sighed again instead. Daryl's concern was growing.

"Denise thinks I might be pregnant"

* * *

 

I opened my mouth, nothin' came out. I snapped it closed n she looked at the floor again. I was holding the door jamb, n I could feel it givin' as I gripped it.

Pregnant.

The word hung heavy in the air. Echoing in the silence that rolled out between us.

I opened my mouth again, n stupidity, idiocy, ran from my lips before I could stop it.

"How?" I said, n she had the decency at least not to laugh or be sarcastic. She just looked at me, which was bad enough. "I mean. You said" she nodded, stoppin' the words short.

"Yeah" she managed quietly, mumblin' into her own chest again. "Things change. Circumstances change. I'm the healthiest I've been for a long time. The happiest I've been for a long time." She looked up at me, completely and utterly distraught. "What do we do?" That struck me as stupid. What could we do? As shocked as I was it was fantastic news. I couldn't be happier.

I just needed to have the confidence enough in my legs not to give out before I could let go of the door frame and show her that.

"We find out for sure" I managed to say, knowin' she'd have to come to Hilltop with us. There was no choice now. "Jesus" I whispered to myself, but the acoustics in the small room carried the sound to her n she looked up, finally smilin'.

"No, I'm pretty sure it's yours"

* * *

 

As we got ready to head out I pulled the stranger to one side and spoke to him quietly.

"I don't know how you knew, even before she'd told anyone" I said to him, holding onto his forearm and talking very closely to his face "but my wife needs to see your doctor" he nodded at me solemnly, but I weren't finished. I firmed up my grip on him. "We need to see him on the quiet. We don't even know if this is gonna work out. We ain't tellin' no one yet" Jesus nodded again, n I let him go, puttin' a finger to my lips to remind him.

With that done it was time to leave. Carl had the littluns, so we could at least go without questions from Charlie. Abra sat in the very back of the RV, away from everyone's noise and excited chatter. She leaned her head against the back wall and closed her eyes, sleepin' until we made an unexpected stop.

* * *

 

I stood in the road looking at the mess of a car wreck feeling right as rain again. The blood, the gore, the walkers didn't make me sick. I thought that was ironic.

"Y'ok?" Daryl asked me before he and the rest went inside the building to check for Jesus' friends. I nodded. I was fine. I felt good.

"You hear me whistle you kill him" I pulled my gun from its holster and pointed it at the ground.

"Yessir" I answered Rick. Jesus looked a little worried, but I had a feeling he was a good guy.

Then again, I'd had that feeling before.

"How did you know?" I asked him when the others were safely out of earshot. He turned to me and I flicked the safety off the hand gun, just to show him I wasn't a pushover, and I wasn't taken any prisoners.

"Call it... A gift" he said smiling thoughtfully. I narrowed my eyes at him. As pretty as he was, he sounded like a dick.

"You were in the infirmary" I said, realisation hitting me like a brick to the head. "That's confidential information" He had the audacity to look a little sheepish. "I hadn't even told Daryl yet. I..." I couldn't retort any further because my family came out of the building with some new guys in tow.

"Harlan, Freddie" Jesus greeted them when they came out. "Is this it?" He asked Rick, but Harlan answered

"this is it" he said solemnly. Jesus took a moment to process that, then turned to me and introduced him

"Our Doctor, Harlan Carson" he said very deliberately. I nodded once, a trick I had pulled from Daryl, and lowered my gun.

"We done here?" I asked as Daryl came up to me, and he nodded.

"That the doctor?"

"Yeah"

"Whatever happens here, he lives"

* * *

 

We almost had a fight just tryin' to get inta the damn place.

Buncha pricks on the wall with nothin' better to do but threaten us. Nothin' was stoppin me gettin' Abra n that doctor in there though. I threatened em right back, even with Abra lookin' daggers at me.

But we got in, with Jesus telling us we should trust him. Abra all but fell apart laughin' at that. I couldn't blame her.

We went in, n the place was almost medieval. They had a blacksmith makin' spears cause they didn't have guns. From what Jesus said they couldn't use 'em anyway. And we met that Gregory prick who refused to talk to us until we 'washed up'.

Abra n me took the opportunity to disappear while Rick n them were shown around, while Maggie too her lead as democrat n spoke to Gregory.

"Welcome to the infirmary" Dr Carlson lead us inside, quickly at my insistence. "You think you might be expecting?" Abra was noddin', but she had a spiel of history to get through before they could know for sure. Shit I din't really understand, about uteruses n ovums. She reckoned she was born with only a handful, or somethin'. It kinda went over my head.

"My doctors said I'd likely not ever get pregnant, and if I did it probably could go wrong pretty quick. My eggs have never been in great shape." The doctor understood everythin' I guess that's what counted.

He strapped her up n scanned her belly. I looked at her, feelin' like I was seein her for the first time. She weren't showin. Her torso was as flat as it had ever been. The doctor turned the screen and pointed at a blob on it.

"That's your uterus" it looked like a big black hole on the grainy screen. "And this" he pointed to a white thing in the corner "is your baby" Abra, starin' intently at the screen reached out n grabbed my hand.

"So, I am pregnant" the doctor, smilin' happily, nodded

"You sure are. I've got some vitamins for you, you'll need to take one every day, and some pamphlets on healthy living." He shrugged "I'd say you're 8 weeks in, so the risk of losing the baby has shrunk somewhat already." My mouth fell open, and Abra squeezed my hand pretty hard. "Just stay rested. If you can come  
See me again in 6-10 weeks that would also be helpful." He pressed some buttons on his computer. "I know it can be difficult to get around these days, but do try"

* * *

 

A cacophony of noise started outside, yelling, shouting. Daryl and I jumped up immediately.

"Go" I said to Daryl as the doctor handed me some tissue to wipe off the gel he'd used. "Thank you" I said when I was done. "Thank you so much" I took the pills and pamphlets and chucked them in my pack, dashing out to follow Daryl.

I didn't even have time to process what else was going on. Daryl already had a guy under his arm, Abraham was on the floor. I rushed forward but Maggie and Glenn stopped me.

"What?" Rick said, getting up covered in blood. What had we missed? A woman threw her self at Rick screaming but Michonne put her on the floor without any effort, and Jesus was in the middle of the whole thing, trying to keep everyone calm.

"They have it" Maggie said "get The doctor, Gregory's been hurt"

* * *

 

"We heard the name Negan" Rick was saying to Jesus, as we gathered in a room in the big house waiting for news on Gregory.

It was a name I'd heard before, Daryl had told me about the bikers when he came home stabbed after losing his crossbow. Saving the day just in time when the herd broke in. I shuddered visibly. Hopefully we were past that now. How many more Groups of assholes could there be in a small place?


	4. Chapter 4

I sat as far back in the RV as I could. Daryl was flatly refusing to let me help with the boxes of produce Maggie had talked Gregory out of, like I was an invalid. I wondered if he'd be that protective for 7 months, and if I could cope with him treating me that way for so long.

I leant my head against the window and watched them out there, preparing, discussing, arranging things I couldn't be a part of. Things I should be a part of. Jesus made Negan sound like a nasty piece of work, worse than anything we'd come by, and everyone still seemed so confident in our abilities to reduce him to nothing but ash.

I wasn't so sure. I had a very bad feeling and now it was hard to tell if it was because of this, the baby, the impending doom the beautiful stranger spoke of, or my usual instincts. I closed my eyes tight against the outside, pondering, not for the first time, if a baby really was such a good idea right now.

They climbed aboard, dragging a guy called Andy with them who knew the saviours, Negan's, compound, and could help in the initial fight. I watched Daryl and Rick talk over strategies, how they thought it could go, how they thought it should, then Rick clapped Daryl on the back and sent him back with me to rest for the journey home.

He sat heavily beside me, the smell of leather and smoke attacking all my senses at once.   
The grease smell hadn't gone, despite his lack of bike now, but it didn't overpower like leather and smoke. The leather smelled delicious, the smoke I could have done without. Was that the baby? I used to love the wholly 'man' smell of Daryl before. I guess I was just a girl who liked her men to be to be men, but the cigarette/ashtray reek was making my eyes water. I put my hand over my mouth and nose as best I could without raising suspicions.

"Y'ok?" He asked, and I nodded, not wanting to breathe him in. Maybe if I could breathe through my mouth without looking like I was panting.

"Mmm" I managed, turning to look out the window again so I was at least out of the direct scent line. The RV started to move and somehow that was better. I looked around us, everyone so solemn, but all for their own reasons. Maggie unsure of what she'd traded, what she'd done. Abraham, just in his own world entirely. Rick thinking it all over, no doubt making plans. His hand on Michonne's knee beside him, like it had always been that way. I thought it should have been. They were made for each other.

* * *

 

I watched her lookin' around with her face half covered, barely breathin', face concerned n worried.

I huffed a sigh knowin' she weren't about to volunteer what was goin' on in her head.

"What is it?" I asked, just knowin' her too well and fully expectin' the shrug and shake of the head she gave me.

I din't see my daughter's mom when she was pregnant. I found out about Alyson after the fact. Despite seein' Lori n Maggie pregnant, I didn't know what she was goin' through at all. I guessed it musta been tirin', growin' a person, but I didn't have the first hand experience to know what to do or say.

My mind started wanderin' as we sat there. Abra bein' pregnant changed things. We needed to get to Negan's people before they got to us, that much was clear, n excitin', n nerve wrackin' all at once. I was fully confident the pricks'd be no match, Hell I took a buncha them out on my own. But now Abra was pregnant n it was conflictin'.

I was sure she wouldn't be comin'. Rick might wan'er too, she was a good fighter, n she was so fast, but she weren't gettin' in no more scrapes. She probably wouldn't wanna anyway, she'd not been outside since that prick Mikey-Jay almost got Glenn n her killed.

I looked over at her, her eyes just visible over the hand on her face, big n green n just as pretty as they'd always been. She was lookin' around us, watchin' everyone in turn. When her eyes landed on Jesus they narrowed a little, n I couldn't help but smile at that. She trusted him 'bout so far's she could throw him, n I doubted with a kid inside her that would be far at all. I looked at her again, knocked her shoulder with my own n her eyes flicked up to me, brightenin' a little.

"What is it?" I asked her again, n again she shook her head.

"We'll talk at home" she said, muffled through her hand. I narrowed my eyes.

"Rick wants a meetin' when we get back. Ain't gonna have time for talkin' then" she shrugged, lookin' pensive,

"At home" she said pointedly, lookin' down at herself, n I knew she wan'ed to talk about the kid. We'd have to tell the others, she'd have to be looked after. We already had plans in place of anythin' were to happen, to either or both of us, with Charlie, but a baby might change those plans.

"It changes everything" she said quietly, as if she'd read my mind.

* * *

 

There really wasn't time to talk. I told Daryl I'd help with the stock take of the new produce, it'd take Olivia a long time alone, and though he looked at me with narrowed eyes hiding under his hair he agreed to let me go. He never was one for big shows of affection in public, he just touched my shoulder and I went.

A town meeting was held and decisions were made and though I was there I floated through it all with my mind a ball of fuzz and white noise. I managed to pick up that anything that _was_ going to happen would be the following night. So there was time. A little time.

I just had to work out if I wanted Daryl walking out that gate with my concerns messing up his head, or if I should let him go, and maybe not come back, having never known what I was keeping to myself.   
Could I cope with that if he never returned? Could I cope with knowing anything I said could have messed him up? Holding it in forever on my own, it felt like a bad idea. So did talking. But we had to. I had to.

We sat to dinner together, all of us, our whole family. A god damned feast in comparison to our recent meals.

With Jesus having shown up, and us having this meal together like this, it felt like an omen, a foretelling.

It felt like the end, not the new beginning Jesus seemed to think was coming. The last supper. Judas breaking bread like he hadn't just stabbed his best friend in the back.

I stood suddenly, my chair scraping across the floor. The chatter and noise stopped, all eyes were on me, some concerned, some confused.

"Excuse me" I managed, and walked out. I heard people calling me, Maggie offering to follow, Daryl replying:

"Nah, I got it" and his chair scraping across the floor too. The chatter restarted, I quietly shut the front door.

Initially I headed for home. Thinking, at least I could have a bath, or just sit and relax. But I couldn't face Daryl walking in and asking what was wrong, because I didn't know myself.

So I turned on my heel and headed for the walls, checking my machete was still on my leg, that my holster still held my gun and my knife, before breaking into a run, keeping to the shadows. I saw Daryl and Charlie come out of Rick and Michonne's, the little light on the porch making them glow like sweet little angels who had no idea what was going on, right in front of them, in the dark. My Charlie boy, no idea he could have a brother or sister that wasn't actually his brother or sister, that his dad was his grandad, his mom was just a woman who was in the right place at the right time. It hit me that the baby would be his aunt or uncle. Shit. This was too messed up.

I ran on tip toes to the gate, climbing up to the platform where one of the women had watch.

"Hey" I said, a little breathless, as my head head and shoulders cleared the platform she stood on. She turned to me and smiled

"Hey. What're you doin' up here so late?" I shrugged as I stood up.

"Fancied a little bit of watch time. How's it been?" She looked at me like I was crazy.

"You never take watch, Abra" I took her kid in the morning classes. His name was Billy. I had no idea of hers. Well I had. It had just gone from my mind.

"I know" I said.

"Well you're in luck because it's been super quiet out tonight. You c'n go on home I'm fine." I rolled my eyes in the darkness. Crap.

"Mind some company?" I asked instead, and though she looked confused she agreed I could stay. So I say where I stood, leaning against one of the posts, looking out into the darkness.

* * *

 

"Mom!" Charlie yelled the minute we were in the house. I took hold of his shoulder gently and hushed him.

"Mom ain't feelin' great Charlie, don't be yellin'" he stood in the doorway a little longer before turning his face up to me behind him.

"Sh'ain't here" I thought about that. The place was dark until we got in, turnin' on the lights as we did, n there was no evidence she'd come in. The house was how we'd left it.

"Go clean ya teeth, kiddo, n I'll come n tuck y'up" Charlie narrowed his eyes at me

"I ain't a baby, don't need tuckin' in" I shrugged at him.

"I'll come n say good night, then" n he took himself off upstairs.

I chewed my lip. She'd not been back, so where in the hell did she go? I couldn't go chasin' her down, Charlie needed to go to bed n I had no one to watch him.  
It crossed my mind she was being a selfish bitch, n then that I was bein' selfish expectin' her to just... Be here. But where the fuck else did she have to go to?

I had to wait, n hope she came home.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning of a 7 year old being an adorable straight talking kid, and the death of a bunny.

"The hell ya been?" I asked her quietly as she walked into the bedroom around 4am. I'd heard her come in, go to the kitchen for water, n then come up the stairs. She stood in the doorway, I guessed she'd hoped I'd be asleep.

I had been, for a coupla hours, safe in the knowledge that she could handle herself if need be. 

"Out" she said, quietly shuttin' the door so as not to wake Charlie, who would have happily slept through a world war. I sat up, n she looked at me. She looked like she hadn't slept at all.

"Out out?" I asked her, not sure what else to say, she hadn't been out on her own for a very long time. I was grateful when she shook her head. 

"No. I was on the wall" I nodded.

"Ya wan'ed to talk" I shrugged "not much'a that goin on" she shook her head sadly, n sat on the edge of the bed to remove her boots. When she was done she sighed heavily. 

"I don't know where to start" she said as she turned to me. "I don't think I can do this" she was fiddlin' with the gold ring on her finger, spinnin' it with the other fingers on the same hand. She looked down at her lap and didn't say any more. 

"What?" I coaxed, movin forward toward her, I moved her hair away from her face and put it over her shoulder so I could see her looking back at me. She managed a small smile, but it wasn't happy. 

"I can't have a baby." She looked away n my hand dropped from her neck.  It wasn't what I was expectin', though I knew she wan'ed to talk about that. I thought she'd be happy. But thinkin' on it she'd never once said, in all these years, that she wan'ed one. Charlie, great as he was, as much as I knew she loved him, was thrust on her. I wasn't here to lighten the load n bein' Abra she got on with it, n she was great at bein' mom. She put her hands over her face n threw herself back onto the bed. 

"Well," I managed, swallowin', not sure I wan'ed to hear any more "why?" She moved her hands into her hair.

"It's not the right time" I huffed a laugh.

"Is it ever? When would be right?" She shrugged a little, not lookin' at me but up at the ceilin' 

"Before all the world fell apart, not when you think you can't have one. Not when your man is about to charge into unknown danger." She turned on to her belly n held herself up on her elbows lookin' at me. "And I don't know if you're gonna come back," she sniffed dramatically "Lori died. Alyson died. I'm not ready to die for something I don't even know I want, and yet I have absolutely no choice. Aside from throwing myself down the stairs in some selfish bid to give myself some sort of option, and then take up time and precious resources" she stopped, lookin' at me intently. "Don't look like that" 

* * *

His face was thunder. 

"I'm not going to throw myself down the stairs" I said slowly. He didn't understand what I was trying to say. I needed to word it differently. His dark blue eyes bore into me and I had to look away. I got off the bed and stretched.

"What I mean is, this has kind of taken me by surprise. In a previous life you would have gone through the options. We have no options. I'm pregnant, _the end_ " I stopped, he was watching me, staring at me. I sat next to him, still under the covers "It struck me earlier, Charlie's going to have an auntie sister, or uncle brother." I shrugged. "It bothered me. A lot." Daryl's eyes narrowed to near invisible but he still didn't say anything. "And then, there's you guys planning this big invasion on some guy who sounds like... Like... You could die." 

"I ain't gonna" he said, throwing an arm around my shoulders and half hugging me.

"But you might." I said, and my words hung between us, sounding so very final. "I might" I added quietly. "We'll need to do another supply run for formula, just in case." He was looking at me sideways. His arm hanging heavy on my shoulders where he no longer hugged me, but just leant. I chewed the inside of my cheek. 

"I don't want to do this alone" 

"Ya not gonna"

"I don't want that chance. I want to have _some_ options in this, some... _choice_. I don't want you out there tomorrow." His arm stiffened on my shoulders but I continued. "And if you must go, I'm going too" he pulled his arm away from being draped over me. He took my right hand in his left and sort of looked at it. The sun was beginning to come up. I realised our hands, linked together, were ghostly but now more clearly visible.

"We're gonna have a baby" he said, placing his right hand over the top of our others "ya gonna be absolutely fine. I'm gonna go tomorrow night n I'm gonna be back the next Mornin' in one piece, n alive." I sighed and leaned into him, curling my fingers into his, squeezing his hand as much as I could.

"I wish I had your confidence." I said, looking up at him, his face now taking on the ethereal glow of the early morning. 

"I'll be ok. I'll feel better if ya here, at home" I chewed my lip. "Ya gotta give me some say. Ya havin' my kid" I nodded, a smile stretching itself on my face.

"I'm having your kid." I whispered back. He released my hand and put his arms around my waist, flinging himself back and pulling me on top of him. 

"Ya havin' my kid" he said again, a wide smile on his face. He put his hands in my hair and pulled me down to kiss him.

"So tomorrow?" I asked, pulling away. He pulled me forward and kissed me again.

"Hey, it ain't tomorrow yet"

* * *

 But then it was tomorrow, and I woke with a feeling of impending doom. I got up, realising I was naked, and threw on the first thing to hand, Daryl's shirt. I buttoned it quickly, needing a shower shortly anyway.

"Ya gotta stay" Daryl said, sounding sllep addled "Think about it, we gotta son" I nodded, turning to him. He looked me up and nown, cleared his throat and looked away, actually making me blush. "Ain't nothin' gonna keep me away with you two... three... With you three at home" He licked his lips and cleared his throat again, as if to try and control himself. He got up, stretched, and stood naked with his back to me. I ran my eyes over him, wanting to drink in every curve, every scar, every tattoo. I didn't want to forget a sinfgle thing, just in case.

"I don't trust Jesus" I said. "He knew about Negan and said nothing, he wanted more from us without letting us know the full story. Be wary of him" He nodded, still acing away and began to get dressed, chucking clothes on and turning for the door.

"I'mma take Charlie out, just us." He shrugged, but I understood. "Might talk to him 'bout... y'know...stuff" I looked at his face, his too long hair, his narrow navy eyes. I took it all in, the moles by his mouth and nose, the grey in his goatee. I greedily stored the information, hoping I wouldn't need to rely on my memory too soon.

* * *

 Charlie n me lay on our stomachs in long, wet, dewy grass, watching a coupla rabbits munchin' in the distance, makin' the mosta the cool mornin' before the sun rose high and it got too hot to sit out. I turned to my boy, his face so serious.

"Buddy?" He looked at me, annoyed, n huffed. He was huntin', I always told him to be quiet when he was huntin' "I gotta head out tonight" I said, meanin' to go on but he cut me off.

"To see the bad men" He said matter of factly, turnin' back to the rabbits. "Judith tol' me. Her dad's goin'" Judith. It all made sense. She was probably misinformin' him about sex as well. She was startin' to remind me so much of her mother.

"Yeah. Well, I need to talk to ya 'bout mama, She's going' through some stuff that might make her seem...Crazy. If I don't come back"

"Ya will" he said plainly. I smiled at him.

"Yeah, I will, but mama's gonna be a little wierd. She might be cryin' for nothin', she might be sick. She's gonna be tired, n might shout. Ya gotta be a good boy" He turned to me sharply.

"I am!" He yelled, n the larger of the two rabbits sat upright sniffin' the air, ears twitchin', lookin' for danger.

"Shh," I managed "I know y'are. but mama's gonna need ya to look afta her" He nodded, lookin' back a the rabbits.

"C'n we shoot one?" He asked "I'm hungry"

"Soon." I said, not finished. I huffed a sigh. "Look, Charlie, Mama's onna be a bit nuts, cause we decided to have a baby" The rabbits in front of us were slowin' their eatin'. It was almost time for one to take the bolt.

"Why?" Charlie asked, N I realised I'd hafta lie a litle. I thought about it, Havin' done nothin' but think about this all mornin' I was ridiculously unprepared.

"Well, how d'ya decide anythin'? we talked about it. Decided you should hava brother or sister. Me n mom both had brothers. It's nice to have someone else to grow up with."

"Judith is Carl's sister" he said quietly. He looked at me "Try n get the big one daddy" I did as asked, shootin' the bunny perfectly. "Ya gonna hafta come home, dad." I looked at him with an eyebrow cocked. My boy, all too long hair and big blue eyes. "Cause if mom's gonna be nuts I'mma need ya to lighten the load" I laughed at that, loudly, roosting birds flew and Charlie looked at me cock eyed.

He hushed me. "We should go get that rabbit" He said, noddin' at it. I was so proud of him, He'd tracked the rabbits almost all himself. We got up and walked over.

"So where ya gettin' the baby from?" he asked, as I picked up the rabbit and removed the bolt.

"Well we already got it, we put it in mama's belly and it'll be there for a long while until it's ready." He nodded, like this was completely normal. "Ya remember how to dress a rabbit?" I asked him, n he held out his hands for it. I handed it over n we headed back to the sfety of the longer grass again. He cut open he rabbit's torso very carefully as I watched.

"Dad?" He asked eventually as he started cuttin' the fur around the rabbit's legs. I looked at him, n my heart almost burst. Did my dad ever fell like this? Prolly not. Could I love another kid as much? I din't know.

"Yeah" He turned to me

"How did'ya get the baby in there?"


	6. Chapter 6

I sat on the steps waiting absently for Charlie and Daryl to return. With nothing much to do, and feeling a bit of morning sickness, the air felt good in my lungs. Fresh, not too hot yet, not stuffy like indoors, a breeze whisping at my face. I was feeling pretty good, not worried about my boys, and successfully not thinking about the evening's possibilities.

Until I saw Jesus.

He appeared beside me as if from nowhere, having climbed down from the veranda roof, an impish grin on his lips. I rolled my eyes at him.

"You" I said, trying not to be drawn in to his fascinatingly pretty face.

"Hi" he said, politely enough. I rested my chin on my hand and looked at him, knowing my face would be unwelcoming, and trying to keep a neutral posture.

"What?" I asked, not sure what he would want with me. As far as he knew I was just a pregnant resident of Alexandria, nothing special that he should be interested in.

"You look sad" He shrugged, "Thought you might want some company" I shook my head lightly. Who the hell did he think he was? With his shiny hair and his stupid hat. It was too warm for a hat. Maybe he wanted to keep his locks pretty.

"No, I'm good" I retorted. "You can go" I said pointedly, but he smiled at me, all blindingly gleaming teeth.

"C'mon" He leant towards me as if to knock my shoulder with his, like we were old friends, but I leaned away from him "I know you don't like me very much" I huffed a single syllable laugh at him, "But..." he elongated the word, talking over my sarcasm. "You can trust me" I stood, ready to leave him, rude as it may have been to anyone else, I didn't have to sit here and talk to him.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go now" I looked down at him "You're right, I _don't_ trust you. You tricked us into going to your community, you weren't open and honest about what was going on" I pushed my hair from my face as the breeze blew strands all around me. "And now my husband, the father of this baby, father to a seven year old boy, is about to run blind into danger because of your people" Jesus sighed softly and I found myself wanting to hear him out

"Sorry," he said "This was never my intention. I thought we could trade, I really did. I never meant for Negan to come up." He looked at me, his face soft, open and, it almost hurt to admit it, honest. "Rick, Daryl, they made the decision to help. We didn't ask them to" I nodded, and found myself sitting with him again. He was right, from what I remembered.

"I was in and out the whole time to tell the truth" Honesty was apparently the theme of our conversation. He nodded, his pretty face still turned to me. "This baby thing, it was kind of a surprise" I looked out to the street, Enid and Carl sat on the curb opposite. Carl raised a hand at us, and I waved back. " I was in shock. We've lost women in childbirth. It's scary" His face contorted into confusion.

"You have a son" he asked, and although his eyebrows knitted together, he still appeared unnaturally beautiful. I shook my head sadly

"No, I mean I do, but he's adopted" Jesus nodded gently.

"I see. We have Dr Carson. You're welcome to see him whenever you have concerns" I hummed a non-committal sound at him.

"My husband will be running off into the unknown tonight. This baby might still only have one parent at the end of the day." He looked at me very seriously and shook his head.

"How can I have more confidence in a man, men, you know so much better than I do? Daryl is out there" He gestured, his arms wide as if to take in the whole world "right now, and you're calm, quietly confident he will come home. Tonight wont be any different" I shrugged at him.

"I've met my share of strangers and old friends. The only people who were ever good to me, since the world turned and the dead refused to stay down, were these people. My brothers and sisters." I stopped, remembering sadly "Even one of them turned tail and tried to hurt my boy" I looked at the porch steps. I'd tried so hard to remember Carol as she was before... The Incident... I looked up and Jesus' diamond blue eyes were on me again. "Confidence is what made us miss her changing." I didn't like to think of her that way, "Confidence, and ego and being comfortable. It's the worst thing you can be. Rick's confidence and ego are through the roof. Daryl is angry at everything right now, and the combination can be devastating. You don't know these people." I looked at him intently. His eyes so calming, as if he was made to be the world's own mediator. "They're following your lead, but I don't think you know what you're dealing with either" He looked at me, seeming to take in my whole face. His eyes so bright and piercing I thought they might rip through me, so I turned away, shuffled my feet, anything to not feel so intruded upon.

"Maybe not" he said quietly. "but we're all in this together now. I may have brought you in, but we're all on the same side." I looked up at him as his hand reached out to gently touch my shoulder "The _good_ side" I huffed at that. What was good any more?

* * *

The gate slid open, juddering on it's rollers. Eugene welcomed us in

"Welcome home" he said, smilin', n I hoped he wouldn't say nothin' else, he liked to blather on, I din't need that today.

"Hi Eugene" Charlie chirped at him, brandishin' another rabbit we'd caught. He was like his mother, far too polite. "We bought lunch!" He thrust the rabbit at Eugene n giggled happily, Eugene stumbled back a coupla steps.

I was lookin' down at Charlie, my hand on his shoulder tryin' to steer him away. When I looked up my eyes fell on our home. On Abra n that Prick Jesus on our porch steps. He had his hands on her, n she was smilin' at him. For someone who din't trust him she sure looked happy enough in his company.

"Hey!" I called, n Charlie looked up too,

"Mom!" He ran forward, the prey in his hand held up high so it didn't drag on the floor. Jesus pulled his hand away from her pretty sharply n they both stood. Charlie crashed into Abra at about 70 miles n hour, almost knockin' her off her feet again. She emitted a little 'oof' noise and threw her arms around him.

"Charlie, go easy. Remember what I said?" He looked back at me n nodded sagely. "What're you doin' here?" I said turnin' my eyes on Jesus.

"Just chatting with your lovely wife" he gestured towards her, and I stepped up a coupla the stairs.

"What you say?" I asked him angrily. He looked at me, all innocent n innocuous. Like I might fall for that.

"You're offended because I think your wife is lovely?" He said incredulous. I stepped up another stair, I pointed my finger at him

"I'm offended that some long haired prick calls himself Jesus is sittin' on my porch steps" he leant back a little away from me, n Abra grabbed at my hand, covering my pointing finger with her own hand.

"Daryl," she said gently, n I lowered my arm. Jesus' eyes were wide but not scared. The passive little prick probly din't think I'd do nothin' in front of everyone.

"One false move buddy" I said to him. "You watch ya mouth"

"Daryl" Abra said again. "Stop it. What's wrong with you?" I continued to stare at the long haired resident of Hilltop as Abra turned to him. "Excuse him" she said gently "I told you he was angry. Just go" I watched him smile softly at her before skirt in' me n headin' down the steps. He moved as though he was lighter n air. He just kept gettin' weirder n weirder.

I watched him until he disappeared around a corner.

"Prick" I mumbled under my breath, n Abra lightly slapped my arm

"Will you stop?!" She asked, gesturin' down at Charlie who was still huggin' her as best he could with his rabbit held up in one hand. I leaned over n took it off'a him.

"I thought you din't trust him" I said, takin' the last stair n headin' for the door.

"Dad said you got a baby" Charlie said once we were inside. "He said he put it inside your belly" I looked at Abra n she was smilin' down at him.

"Did he? Well that's great. I wish I was there when he told you." She said deliberately, lookin' at me sideways.

"Mom?" Charlie asked, n I knew what was comin. I'd like to see her squirm her way out of it like I did.

"Shall we put the rabbit in the stew pot?" She asked him.

"Yeah. Mom? How did the baby get in your belly?" She took the rabbit off me n turned to him. She pulled up her shirt.

"See that?" She asked him, pointing to her belly button. He nodded. "Lemme see yours" she said crouchin' down to him. He giggled but pulled up his shirt. I wondered where this was headin'. "Yours pops out," she said, standin' again "mine goes in, see? Dad n me had to squeeze very hard n be very careful, but we got the baby in through my tummy button. It's very small right now but it'll grow" She was a fuckin' genius.

I smiled at her, puttin' my arm over her shoulders n kissin' her cheek.

"Oh!" Charlie said as if it made perfect sense "so, was I in there?" Abra stiffened n cleared throat.

"C'mon" I said to him "let's get that rabbit ready for lunch." I took it from Abra who stood there a little dumbfounded, n steered Charlie into the kitchen.

"How does it get out again?" I had to stifle a laugh at that. He was gettin' too curious. I turned to Abra who looked a little shocked, n then concentrated on gettin' Charlie's mind in somethin' else.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning of shameless smut and filth

"I got a coupla hours, n then I gotta go Rick's an go over the plans with him n that Andy guy" Daryl said to me as we cleared up from lunch. I looked at the clock on the wall. 2pm.

"I want to nap" I said. I was shattered all the time. Growing a baby was so tiring. I looked over his shoulder at Charlie, still picking around at his plate. "Are you finished, Charlie-bear" he looked up and there were dark circles under his eyes. He nodded, then stifled a yawn with the back of his hand. "Do you need a nap?" I asked him and he nodded again. I looked at Daryl and smiled softly. "I think that's settled. I think we're all going to go to bed for a bit." I purposefully brushed up against him reaching into a low cupboard to put away dishes.

He muffled a grunt, then turned to take Charlie to bed and tuck him up. I smiled to myself. Charlie had had his time, I needed mine.

When I headed up the stairs I could hear them talking quietly.

"I'll be gone when you get up bud" Daryl was saying. "But I'll be home before ya get up in the mornin'" I popped my head in his bedroom door. Charlie was already half asleep. I watched Daryl kiss his forehead and turn to me. He smirked a little. One side of his mouth turning up as he approached.

"C'mon" he said roughly, like he couldn't wait.

As soon as we got to our room I started to undress, but he stopped me.

"Hey" he said, his gravelly voice sending a shiver through me. "Put my shirt on again" I looked at it on the floor, cast asunder when I had my shower that morning and not yet having made its way to the laundry.

Now in only my underwear I bent, very purposefully, to pick it up, giving him full view of my cleavage.

"This old thing?" I asked, looking it over. He nodded, licking his lips,

"Take off ya bra" he grumbled, and I smiled at him coyly. I did so slowly, taking down the arms one at a time after unclasping the back. He made a noise in the back of his throat, and I looked up at him lying on the bed, his hands behind his head, propped up against the head board. "Get those pan'ies off, too" I shimmied out of them, kicking them to the side before taking his plaid shirt and pulling it on over my nakedness. It barely covered me, stopping just short of mid thigh.

I gave him a twirl, and he grunted again, an animal noise full of lust.

"C'mere" he managed throatily, and I went to him slowly, climbing up his naked body and sitting on his thighs.

His hand reached out and rubbed my leg, edging higher and higher until he found the wetness between them. His finger circled my clit twice, and his other hand started fumbling with the buttons of the shirt. He opened it almost to my waist, so the curve of each breast, already starting to firm up in my pregnancy, was visible.

"There" he managed, leaning forward and sliding his finger into me slowly. I tossed my head back, knowing full well it gave him a great line of sight, and I rode his hand as a second finger found its way in. I gasped at the full feeling, tipping my head forward again to look at him. He was looking at me intently. I narrowed my eyes at him, an unspoken question, and he smiled a little, pulling his fingers from me and giving them to me to taste. They were slick, more so than I expected. He was still watching me carefully. I always enjoyed the taste of myself. There was something sweet about it.

He pulled his fingers away from my mouth and used both hands to open the shirt a little wider.

"Fuck" he said, and I giggled, he ran a hand over my incredibly sensitive left nipple and I emitted an animal like noise myself. He moved forward a little more as it stiffened, and he took it in his mouth, gently holding it in his teeth, rolling his tongue back and forth until I was shivering. His cock sat erect in front of me and I reached for it, but he battered my hand away. Confused I tried again, realising he was already close as it twitched a little.

"I don't care" I whined, his teeth gripping at my nipple a little harder "I want it so bad" he made that animal noise again and pulled away from my breast.

"How bad?" He asked with an infuriating smirk, I looked at him with narrow eyes.

"so fucking bad" I whispered "I want it inside me" I reached for it again and he let me, the head already dripping with precum. He groaned and shivered all at once, and I knew I had to be quick, or it would all be over.

I got up on my knees and straddled him, he held himself beneath me and we locked our bodies together. I gasped, he gasped, I rolled my hips and he gritted his teeth, his thumb finding my clit, his free hand gripping at my buttock, his grip growing harder as he gritted his teeth more firmly, trying his best to hold off.

The pure fact that I could create that intensity was getting me off, and I bucked hard against him,

"Oh shit" he grunted, moving his hips against mine "fuck, I love you so much Abs" and that was enough for me, the rarely spoken words. I let go, and he let go, and in seconds it was over. I lay against his chest, his cock growing limp but still quivering inside me. As our breathing fell into rhythm and I remembered what would be happening in a few hours, I realised it could be the last time.

I started to cry.

He lie there, his arms wrapped around me, my head on his chest. Big fat tears rolled down my face and across his chest to melt into the bed clothes. I turned my face into his neck, kissed him there, whispered how much I loved him.

* * *

 

Eventually we slept, when I woke up she was still sleepin' lightly.  
I always knew when she was troubled, 'cause she didn't snore softly.

There was no snorin' now, just the steady rise and fall of her small back under my hands.  
It was time for me to go, n though I din't know quite why it bothered her so much this time, it was very clear that it did. I squeezed her gently, and rolled her off me. She mumbled under her breath, n I knew she'd soon wake up.

I went into the shower, aware I'd be washin' her off my skin, which struck me as an odd musin'. Abra had got in to my head with her idea that everythin' was so damned final.

I stood under the hot water longer'n I needed to. Longer than was fair, with others in the house and water a limi'ed commodity. But I let it run over my skin as I held onto the wall, thinkin' it all over. How everythin' must be linked. Jesus, the hilltop, this Negan n his saviours, even the baby. It all came at once. For a long while everythin' was quiet n calm.

Then, boom. Chaos again.

I ran my free hand over my head, then turned off the water.  
I wrapped myself in a towel, n walked out the shower to find her sittin' awake in bed, my shirt pooled around her thighs. She gave me a small smile.

"Hey you" she said, n I just wanted to dive back in bed with her.

"Hey" I managed, takin' off the towel n dressin' quickly. "I gotta go girl, I'm cuttin' it fine as it is." She nodded.

"I know. I love you." I nodded back at her, approachin' the bed n kissing her cheek.

"I'll be home in the mornin'" I put my hand on her neck n kissed her again "I promise" I whispered, n left the room.

* * *

 

I listened to him leave before getting up to get Charlie. If I left him he'd sleep until morning and that wasn't good for anyone. Sometimes I could swear I had a teenager in the house.

We sat in the lounge a while, playing cards on that lazy afternoon, and my mind wandered as it often did.

In an hour I had an idea, in two it was almost a plan. I just needed two things, and a babysitter for Charlie.

I sat back, was I being ridiculous? I watched as Charlie very beautifully shuffled the playing cards. I'd been so lost in my own head he'd won almost every game.

Did I need to be out there?  
I couldn't very well sit at home, not knowing I could be of some use. I could skirt parameters, I could watch and wait and, just, be on hand.

I tapped my fingers on my knees. Daryl would go mad. Charlie would be left again.

I stood up. Charlie looked at me confused, half way through dealing another round.

"Mom?"

"How do you fancy hanging out with Carl and Judith tonight?" I asked him, and his face lit up, he loved the older kids, it made him feel so grown up to be with them, and they didn't treat him like a 7 year old. But then his face dropped.

"Ya chasin' after dad?" I hummed, not committing to a yes or a no and he gave me a narrow suspicious look that was so Daryl I almost sat back down.

"Alright. Sort of. I just to want to make sure he's ok" he eyed me a little longer before carefully putting the deck of cards back together

"Dad said this baby might might make you crazy" he said, shaking his head and dramatically rolling his eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

I watched, my gut turning over on itself, as Jesus and Andy chose between walker heads, the most visibly resembling Gregory. I rubbed my stomach, holding my breath, as Rick picked up one of the decapitated heads and broke it's nose with a flurry of punches. my brothers and sisters sat nonchalantly watching, my husband happily lounging on the bonnet of a car.

I turned away, the cover of the trees just enough to keep me out of sight, for now. I was thankful it was almost May, I was glad the leaves and blossom were in full show.

Though it was a warm night, I wore a black hooded sweater and had my face covered with an old bandana. I couldn't risk being seen, I just wanted to make sure this all went to plan. If anyone wasn't coming home, I wanted to know before the rest returned to tell me.

I turned back to my family, who were piling back into vehicles. Shit. I'd have to be quick to keep up, but stay unseen. the car I'd plundered from outside the Alexandrian walls was parked behind me, under the cover of fallen tree branches a high wind must have broken. I returned to it, carefully removing the camouflage, and hopped in, waiting to start it until the RV, and other vehicle, was out of view.

* * *

We arrived at the saviours hideout. It stood low, just a ground floor over the most part, and had huge satellites on top. I wondered if they were in use. I wondered if anyone would want to use them or why. I stashed the car again, this time not so lucky with fallen trees, and crept forward off the road. I could see Daryl, Rick, Michonne, Andy and Jesus huddled together, then Andy moved forward with the walker head.

I couldn't hear them, there was no breeze to carry their words to me, but I saw a guard go down silently and I knew in my gut that Daryl must have slit his throat and stabbed him, he was the quietest, the lightest on his feet apart from me.

I saw a shadow join him and drag the guard away. I saw Michonne dart forward to silently off another. Maybe they _didn't_ need me here, skulking around in the shadows.  The Hilltop resident who'd been held hostage, who's name I'd forgotten, was rushed forward into the car for safe keeping. I watched, interested, as my friends split into groups of two and entered the building stealthily. I was interested to see Michonne stay outside, and Tara and Gabriel returned to the car with... Craig? That sounded right, and Jesus. I sighed heavily, about to turn back. They'd be fine, I was worried for nothing.

Perhaps it was having a baby, it turned me into some kind of Alpha Female, protective of my herd and my child. Needing my Alpha male to be safe, and to continue to provide. I snorted heavily, heading back to the car, amused at myself. Alpha male. Daryl liked to think he was. That made me giggle, aloud. Christ this baby really was turning me crazy. 

I didn't see or hear anyone slinking up behind me. I heard the car my group had brought drive away, undoubtedly taking Craig and Andy home, but I didn't hear the footsteps, and it bothered me.

"What are you doing here?" a voice said softly behind me, and I cringed.

* * *

Unless she was with me I always kept Abra out of mind. It was critical to stop me hesitatin', puttin' others in danger. The whole group was my charge, n I needed to think that way when I was out on a run or a mission.

'Til that night it had been pretty easy, but Abs had got inta my head, with her doomsayin', her distinct insistence that somethin' was gonna go wrong.

Either that or it was the baby growin' inside her that made me stop, n pause, even before I killed the first guard.

I shook my head, as if to shake her out of it. Rick asked with his eyes if I was ok, if I could do this. I resented Abra for that. It was fleeting, din't last, but I did, all the same. I nodded at him as he moved forward to remove the body, before the other guard came out with Craig.

The rifle on my back banged against me noisily as we hefted the guard out of sight. We worked as one, we worked swiftly and quietly, Abra now out of my head for the time bein'.

We split off in pairs, Rick whisperin' about checkin' the doors, there were loadsa them, mostly shut, n we had no idea what we'd find behind them.

The first door was sleepin' quarters. I kept guard outside with the rifle to my eye as Rick swiftly and silently stabbed the guy in the temple in his sleep. His hands were shaking, his face was grim. It felt wrong, it felt underhand, but it was what we had to do to stay alive. Then Charlie and Abra lighted in my mind again. The baby, the sonogram, as real as if I saw them in front of me.   
I knew what I was fightin' for.   
An alarm began to sound through the buildin', n all hell broke loose.

* * *

 

"I'm supposed to trust you, and you leave my family to come after a noise in the woods?" I stared incredulous at Jesus, knowing it was him even with the bandanna covering half his face.

"You're supposed to trust them but you came out anyway" he said calmly. I narrowed my eyes at him, still so unsure. "You shouldn't be out here" he lowered his face scarf, his face was serious.

"Give me one good reason" I hissed, starting to feel pissed at him. I was on my way back, for gods sake.

"You're pregnant" he said with a confused smile. I rolled my eyes, turning again in the direction of my vehicle.

"Ok give me two reasons" I called over my shoulder, and I heard him chuckle. I stopped in my tracks, wishing he'd just go. It wasn't funny. It wasn't clever. It was dangerous and stupid. "If they come out and can't find you, they're gonna rush in again to make sure you're alive" I said, turning to face him. His big blue eyes sparkling in the dark, "They're good people and they'll look out for you, but if any of them die because you weren't where you were supposed to be?" I huffed a short laugh at him "I'll kill you myself"

Then an alarm started, loud and ringing. Jesus and I both turned, wide eyed, in the direction of the noise, it was coming from the saviours stronghold.

"Fuck" I managed in a hushed tone. "I was on my way home" I turned to Jesus, angry with him. Now we were in even more danger with the noise undoubtedly bound to bring walkers our way.

"Not anymore" I heard the unmistakable click of a gun hammer behind me, and the words spat with venom at my neck. I stared at Jesus, his face a picture of shock.

"Look what you did!" I whispered, and another woman appeared behind him. I flicked my eyes to her, and Jesus ducked low, swinging his leg behind him and bringing his attacker to her knees. It was impressive, he was fast.

"Stop right there" the woman behind me said "or I will kill her" the woman on the floor got up, cursing, and Jesus put his arms up.

I didn't understand, he could have run, he was quick enough, what did I matter to him?

Turned out Jesus really did care for all gods children.

* * *

 

We were preparin' to leave, our job for the night finished, when I heard my bike.

"Sonuvva bitch" I whispered to myself, thinkin' I'd never've seen it again. I charged at the asshole on it, throwing him to the floor and pummelling his face, askin' him where he got the damn thing. He kept sayin' he found it, which just made me angrier and hit him harder. Rick had a gun to his face, and he told us to shoot him.

"Like everyone else, right?" I bit my tongue, half inch from kickin' the bastard in the kidneys.

The radio on the floor, havin' fallen from this pricks belt, hissed n crackled, a woman's voice said

"Put down the gun prick" we stared at it on the floor, tauntin' us. I cursed at myself in my head. I just wanted to get back. Rick picked it up, told the woman to come out. She said no. She said she had people of ours. I suddenly realised I couldn't see Jesus.

"We have an Abra and a Paul" I thought I was hearin' things. Abs was at home in bed with my boy. Rick eyed me over the walkie, n I shrugged at him.

"I thought she was at home"

"Shit" he said. "Goddamn it Abra" he looked at the guy on the floor "get him up. Stand him up!" He looked at the walkie "we have one of yours. We can trade" I put my gun to the guy's head, but I was sweatin', shakin'. I thought I'd left Abra at home. I thought for once she'd fuckin' listen and stay out of trouble.

I shoulda known better. I shoulda realised I couldn't expect her to just do as she was told.

I shoulda been flattered. Chasin' after me? Maybe she wanted to see the whole thing for herself. She sure as hell wouldn't have wanted to be a part of it. She din't like killin' people at the best of times, but in their sleep? She'da tried to talk me out of it.

I tried to keep my cool, forced my shakin' hand to hold this guy in front of me with the gun to his head and not angrily pull the trigger. The bitch n Rick were chattin', n I tried hard not to grab the walkie from him n demand my wife back.

I looked over as the radio went quiet.

"We gotta get 'er back" I said, breathin' hard, n Rick touched my shoulder, assured me we would, but he din't understand, he din't know. "Nah" I shook my head, lookin' away from his gaze, "She's pregnant" n suddenly all eyes were on me, n the prick in front'a me started laughin', so I kicked him back on the ground, knockin' him out with the handle of the pistol. 

 


	9. Chapter 9

I started to panic when we were put into a car, though we were blindfolded with our own bandannas, I could see a little through the bottom of mine.

In a car we'd leave a less reliable trail. In a car, stamping my footprints into the ground wasn't going to work.

Jesus was calm and quiet beside me. I could see his bound hands next to my bound legs.

We were screwed, completely and utterly.

The woman who had threatened me talked on a bad radio line to members of her group, but everything was in code.

Motion sickness or morning sickness gripped me as we rode blind to whatever hell these women had waiting for us.

We were chucked into a building, and our bandannas were viciously removed.

"Stay here" the woman who had threatened to kill me said. She had ginger hair and an old face, though I thought perhaps she was younger than she looked. Her comrade was dark haired, and very young. They both left the room, I could hear them killing walkers.

I looked over at Jesus sitting opposite me in this room, the walls were stained and yellow with age, there were brackets and iron pipes all around us. Was it a warehouse?

"You did this" I hissed at him "I was going home and you caught their attention" he narrowed his eyes for the first time, though he still didn't look anything but ethereal.

"You shouldn't have been out there, Abra. You did this to yourself" I scowled at him, looking around for something to help with the duct tape bindings I wore. There was a corner jutting into the room. I got up at length, and headed for it, hobbling on my bound legs, rubbing my hands against the cracked tiles as fast as I could manage in the hope of the friction wearing through.

"We'll get out of this, I promise you" he said, still so fucking calm, and it made me more frustrated.

"I'm sick of empty promises" I hissed, rubbing faster against the tiles. The women would be back. They'd want us dead. If we got out, Daryl would kill me anyway.   
What was I thinking doing this? I'd not been out for months, I was out of practice and liable to get me and the baby killed.

Half way through the tape I went and sat on the floor again. Pushing my luck here was not an option, we had to be smart.   
Jesus looked at me again, his face as bright and open as he could make it.

"I promise" he said again, and I shook my head at him.

"Don't make promises. Don't make plans. Everything is going to go to shit. We are disarmed and..." I stopped. Were we? She'd taken my gun, my hunting knife and my machete, but Daryl always advised me to keep a small blade somewhere discreet. Had I? I couldn't remember, because the goddamned baby was zapping all my brain power. I huffed a sigh, and the women came back in to the room, joined by another. The new woman was smoking and coughing and blood was spewing from her mouth as did so.

She stood near me, blowing smoke my way and I turned my face, grimacing. That smell, a smell I used to love on Daryl, that made him seem more manly to me, wasn't reminding me of him, it was making me gag. I coughed purposefully, but smoke struck me as I breathed in, and I turned and threw up on the floor beside me.

"Jesus Christ princess what's a matter with ya?" The new woman in the room asked. I wiped my face on my shoulder and looked at her, not saying a word.   
To my horror Jesus piped up

"She's pregnant" I glared at him. The ginger haired woman stared at me.

"Oh wow. You're a special kind of stupid." The older woman sat in front of me, and blew smoke straight into my face. I coughed, blinked against the blue grey tendrils, turned and vomited again.

"Moles!" the dark haired woman said, and the older lady looked up, huffed and shrugged, moving away. I looked at the dark haired girl gratefully, but she just turned away. I looked at Jesus, his face still serene, thankful and annoyed that he'd sold me out all at the same time.

"Getting knocked up at a time like this?" The ginger was saying. I laughed, I couldn't help it, this baby wasn't planned, nor an accident, it was a damn miracle.

Ginger bent down to me

"you think that's funny? I mean it's cute, sure, babies are the point" she laughed. "Staying standing is the point" she spat.

"Paula!" The dark haired girl called, she turned from me,

"what chelle?" The dark haired girl looked nervous

"There's more in the hallway, we need to clear before the scouts get here" Paula stood sharply and grabbed at her radio

"A crew what's your ETA?"

"Molly" chelle said as Paula chatted with her team, "c'mon lets get the hallways clear." And the two women left the room, just Paula, me and Jesus were in the room now. I looked around me, panic rising in my chest.

"Don't bother" Paula said to me. "There's no way out. Your people killed our people, and now it's just your turn. It's the way of the world now. That baby?" She pointed loosely at my belly with her knife "might as well as saved the energy. Shit. You must have it pretty cushy of ya got time to make babies" I narrowed my eyes at her. "Maybe you tell me where it is that's so damn comfortable and we let you go" I snorted at that,

"Not likely" Paula shrugged at me.

"Fine, have it your way."

"We're looking for Negan" I said as she stood. Jesus looked at me, his eyes wide. I almost expected a Daryl-Esque shake of his head but it didn't come. Paula shot around to face me.

"What about Negan?" She asked suspicious. It was my turn to shrug.

"We're going to kill him" I said nonchalantly. "You saw what our guys can do. We will find him, and we will kill him." I was so focussed on Paula I didn't expect what happened next. She began to speak

"Oh honey, we're all.." But was cut off when a pair of booted feet appeared around her neck. I heard the snap, as clear as day, and then she was on the floor, dead, and Jesus was looking at me with a broad smile on his face.

I couldn't work out how he'd done it, but I was thinking he'd just managed to save our lives.

I ripped my hands apart, the bindings already half worn away, and Jesus started to unravel the tape on my legs.

Without so much as looking at each other we both had the idea to tie Paula just inside the door of the room with Jesus' belt, with the thought that, when she woke up a walker, she may save us further.

I checked my boot for the knife I may have absently stashed there, and came up with a thin but sharp blade with a matte black handle. Jesus nodded at me, suitably impressed.

"They'll be back soon." He said, "come here" he dragged me behind the outcropping wall I broke my bindings on, and stashed me there out of view. I scowled at him, about to speak, but the door swung open and Moles came in. Paula hadn't yet turned, but Moles was enraged.

"What the fuck is this shit!" She yelled, it rang on the old ironwork pipes all around the room. I couldn't see Jesus anywhere, but I stepped out of my cover, Moles eyes went wide and she looked like she might charge for me, but Jesus suddenly landed on her from above, he'd been hiding on the pipes running along the ceiling. I darted forward and stamped on her leg, breaking it at the knee. She yelled in agony, and Jesus fussed on top of her.

"C'mon!" I yelled at him, holding the door open, "it's waking up!" I gestured to Paula who was beginning to stir and growl.

He got up, and all but pushed me out. We looked quickly for something to bar the door with, but walkers were descending, and we had to move.

I could hear Chelle down the hall, swearing and fighting off more of the undead. I looked at Jesus, looking none the worse for his acrobatics.

"You sure they call you Jesus?" I asked him, and he looked at me confused "seem more like fucking Spider-Man" he gave a little laugh, then grabbed my arm and dragged me away from Chelle and her noise.

We hid and waited for her to find her friends. It dawned on me that their squad were coming, we'd need to get out as soon as possible.

We waited a while, ten minutes or more, safe in a dark corner of the building, which was looking more and more like a slaughter house. Jesus was silent beside me, and it was almost like being with Daryl, except with him I could usually predict his next movement. I missed him suddenly. We worked so well together.

I could hear Chelle, stamping heavily to the room we'd been in. She yelled, Screeched in complete and utter rage, roaring out of the room and calling for us.

"You cocksuckers!"she screamed, as the door banged with her exit.   
She'd caught the attention of some more walkers, the place was more full than we knew, who reached and groaned from behind us.

I felt my breathing get heavy, and I held my small blade in my hand, bouncing from one foot to the other, ready to move at a moment's notice. I chewed on my lip, listening to Chelle curse us into the ground.

"Do you wanna explain to me  
Why I just put down Paula!? Shit!"  
She was getting closer, and I noticed Jesus didn't even look ready to fight.

I weighed up the options, I could wait, leaving an attack to the last minute, with walkers descending, or I could rush into the unknown. The second sounded crazy, I had no idea what weapons she might have, didn't know exactly how far away she was.

But it suddenly made more sense, and I rushed around the corner before Jesus even noticed I had moved. I yelled and ran into Chelle, my knife raised. stunned and surprised she stumbled back from me, trying to keep her balance by waving her arms, and slashing me with her knife.

Full of adrenaline I thought nothing of it. I pushed her back and she fell, and then Jesus was with me, and he stabbed her in the head. I sat back, catching my breath.

"Abra" Jesus said quietly "you're bleeding" I looked at my shirt, slashed right across my belly. I shrugged, we didn't have time to freak out about it.

"Other people are coming" I said, wiping sweat from my brow. "Back to that room, we'll contact them, the radios they're using are shit. I have an idea" I rushed off back to the first room, trying to put the thoughts of the baby from my mind.

Trying not to panic, I hadn't been stabbed, it might be a flesh wound.

It might be more.


	10. Chapter 10

I clutched my knife, not sure what we'd come across. It was unnerving, not having my hunting knife and machete to hand. My pink holster, which Daryl had headed out and got for me specially, when I thought girlie shit still mattered. When I had nothing but girlie shit to worry about.

When the world had fallen apart, but we didn't really seem to have noticed yet.

God, that felt like a lifetime ago.

"Ok?" Jesus asked me, and I was transported forward a hundred years to the here and now. I took a deep breath and nodded, he pushed the door open, where we saw Moles trying, and failing, to get up.

Except it wasn't Moles, had she finally succumb to her lung problem, or had Paula got to her? It didn't matter, and I didn't care.

The Molly thing tried again to step forward, left leg coming up and stepping out, right leg collapsing as she did so, unable to hold any weight. It face planted the floor, and I dashed into the room to stab it through the back of the neck. I straightened, seeing Jesus retrieving his belt.

"Grab her walkie" I held out my hand and he tossed it over. I nodded at the fuel cans behind me and he duly ran and grabbed them. I licked my lips before pressing the button, hoping the line was still bad enough. "A crew" I called, loudly as I dare, "where the hell are you?" It took a few seconds for them to come back, seconds which felt like hours. I was about to lose my nerve when static finally hissed at me, breaking the silence.

"We're right outside, where do you want us?" I couldn't help the smile spreading on my face. Jesus looked at me, appearing concerned.

"Back door" I said to the radio "the kill floor" I dropped the radio. "C'mon" I said to Jesus, who was still looking worried at me "what?" I asked him. He shrugged, shook his head.

"Nothing. Want to tell me what you're planning?" I nodded again at the gas cans, now in his hands

"We can tip that over the floor, they'll come in, fall down, it'll give us the upper hand." He nodded, but something told me he thought he could go one better.

We rushed to the back door, hoping we weren't too late. We poured the gasoline on the floor and waited with baited breath for them to come in.

"Oh shit" the door opened, "fuck its slippery." I listened, none of them appeared to fall.

Jesus reached past me for the door, and I turned to him, taking his forearm. I narrowed my eyes at him, but he smiled and shrugged me off with ease. He pulled the door open a crack, and tossed something into the room.   
Flames shot up and licked around the little window in the door. I watched, horrified but unable to turn away, as the people inside clambered to get out, screaming and shouting in pain.

I swallowed down bile, suddenly feeling very sick.

"How?" I asked Jesus, and he smiled a sneaky smile at me.

"Lighter" he said "stole it off Smokey Smokerson after you broke her leg." I nodded, stunned. He seemed so passive and douchey when he arrived at Alexandria with Daryl and Rick.  
Now he seemed like a bit of a badass.

"You don't look good" he said earnestly, a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged him off, I didn't feel good either. I felt like a coward and a brute. "You think Rick would come for us?" I nodded

"Even if he wasn't, Daryl would" I closed my eyes. He was going to find me and he was going to go mad. I sighed. "Can we get away? I can't, I can't just sit here and listen to them die" I shuddered, and Jesus took my hand, leading me back to the front door, where we waited.

"How'd you get out of your bindings?" I looked at Jesus' profile. He smirked a little.

"You're not the only one with a hiding place for a knife" he turned to me and raised a single eyebrow, his smile turning a little mischievous. I nodded appreciatively.

"Do you trust me yet?" He asked, and it was a question I didn't expect.

"Yes" I said without hesitation, surprising myself. "Do you still trust us?" He nodded thoughtfully.

"You just keep proving you're good people" I laughed at that, a hollow humourless sound.

"We just stroll around killing people in their sleep, burning them alive, leaving them to turn into monsters and then eat each other" I sighed "yeah, we're great" Jesus reached out and took my hand in his, it was soft, and warm, and comforting.

"Everything you did tonight was for the greater good. These people, Negan, they're evil. They're... Brainwashed." I pulled my hand away, uncomfortable, and crossed my arms.

"Then surely we should work on that, on de-brainwashing them." I shrugged "aren't we just as bad as them?" Jesus shook his head.

"No" he said simply, and I believed him.

* * *

 

It was 15 minutes later that we heard a car pull up, that the front door opened and Daryl stood there, his rifle up at his eye, me in the firing line, my small pathetic knife by my ear.

The sun blinded me temporarily, and I was surprised when Daryl crashed into me, one hand in my hair, his lips on my cheek.

"We followed ya trail." He said "what the fuck are you doing out here?" I couldn't answer, he pulled away and looked at Jesus. "You" he said venomously. He let me go, turning to face him. Jesus put his hands up, Daryl looking like he might punch him.

Rick and the others were piling in, they had a man with them.

"Daryl!" Rick said sharply, and though he continued vibrating with anger next to me, he relaxed his stance, pointing in Jesus' face instead.

"Every time there's shit goin' down, you're there" Daryl spat. I put my hand on his arm, in the hope he'd turn to me. He didn't, Rick dragged their guy and made him kneel in the floor.

"Your friends are dead" he said hatefully, and I turned away, I didn't want see anymore killing today, I'd had enough.

"Jesus saved me" I said, without an ounce of irony. If he'd let me go home he wouldn't have nearly got me killed. "I had to come, I wanted to see. I was on my way back when those women came." I sighed and pulled at Daryl's arm, he finally turned to me. "If Jesus wasn't here I would be dead" Daryl scowled at me, turned to Jesus, and scowled at him instead.

"Ya help her?" Jesus shrugged and nodded at the same time. Rick pulled out his gun and told the guy on the floor he was sorry, and I headed for the door, I didn't want to see, I didn't want to know.

"Hey." Daryl said to me, concerned, following me out. "Y'ok?" I shook my head, my hand at the wound on my stomach.

* * *

 

I noticed it all of a sudden. She was bleeding, a 4 inch slash in her tshirt, ragged and gaping. My first thought was of the baby, not even Abra but the baby.

As the gun went off in the building I headed back for the door, ready to kill the long haired prick that caused this. I din't care what Abra said, she woulda come out alone, trouble followed that dick around. I heard her behind me, but then she planted herself in front of Jesus.

"He didn't do this" she said, ignoring the brain splatter on Rick's face, barely seeing the dead man sprawled on the floor, "I did this. Ok? It's my fault." I glared at her, then focussed over her shoulder at him. I was conflicted, the tension in the room was suffocating.

"That doctor'a yours" I said quietly, and Jesus was nodding.

"Now," he spoke calmly, but with an urgency "we'll take her right now"

* * *

 

She was fine. Baby was fine, the cut barely needed stitches. The doctor sent us on our way with a promise to see us in a few weeks, n a stern word about the dangers of my bike. Abra shrugged him off,

"I'm not planning on doing any stunts" she said with a small smile.

"Yeah, I think ya pulled 'nuff a those" I replied. She gave me an odd look, but I started the bike so she couldn't hear to argue.

She got on n wrapped her arms around me, restin' her cheek on my back. I wondered how long we could do this before the baby made it impossible to get so close. I also wondered how many more times Abra was gonna try'n destroy me before she let up, realisin' the world was far too dangerous for a pregnant woman to go runnin' 'round in.

I kicked the bike into gear, she held me a little tighter, burying her nose into the leather of my jacket.

It weren't over, not even close. Worse was yet to come. There was always somethin' hidin' just round the corner where we couldn't see, til it was too late.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An epilogue for Beautiful Saviour, a prologue for the next part.

It'd been a coupla days. Abra had so far behaved herself n stayed put when told to do so. Jesus seemed to have become her new best friend, as much as I hated that I guess it was good for her.

I'd been out with Denise n Rosita, huntin' for medicine, run into more fuckin' Saviours and the prick Dwight who stole my bike.

I got my bow back n though she was grazed with a bolt, one of my bolts, Denise made it home. That could have gone very wrong. On the whole we were good.

Too good.

Too... Comfortable.

Abra was tossin' n turnin' beside me, keepin' me awake. Eventually she elbowed me in the ribs.

"You awake?" She asked, n I turned away from her.

"No" I said, closin' my eyes n pullin' the covers over my arm, thinkin' she probly just wanted me to pass her my vest.

I'd caught her with her face buried in it a coupla mornins before as I got out of the shower. I swear if I hadn't come out right then she woulda taken a bite out of it. The pregnancy was doin' crazy shit to her sense of taste n smell.

"Sniff ya shoes," I huffed "they're right there" but she sat bolt upright, gripping at her stomach.

"Oh shit, no" she managed through gritted teeth "I think something's wrong" I sat up n turned to her, she was pale, n sweaty.

"Carson or Cloyd?" I managed, tryin' not to panic, failin' miserably. She looked like she might answer, but she was gripped with another pain, n yelled the damn house down.

Lights'd started comin' on down the street, I noticed em as I hot-footed to Tara n Denise's house.  
Denise was at the door, like she knew, or she'd heard all this way. I looked at her, all bandaged up, thinkin' maybe Dr Carson was a better call.

"Carson's a long way" Rosita said, comin' out behind Denise and readin' my damn mind "let's see if we can do anything first"

* * *

Charlie got up, for once in his little life he didn't sleep through the noise.

I knew the sounds coming out of me were inhuman, and his little face was so concerned.

"Where the hell is dad?" He asked me as if, if Daryl were here, it would all be ok. I wondered very briefly if Daryl knew he was an absolute hero to this kid.

I rubbed at my lower abdomen, the pain easing off a little, as it had on and off all day and night. Maybe I should have said something earlier, but it wasn't that bad.

"Dad's gone to get the doctor. Come here to me" I held out my free hand to him, and he took it, climbing onto Daryl's side of the bed. Pain gripped me again, and I concentrated on not breaking Charlie's hand.

"Is it supposed to hurt?" He asked me, as the pain wore off, and I shook my head

"Not this much, and not yet" he nodded thoughtfully.

"Is it dyin'?" I stopped rubbing at my stomach, briefly squeezed his hand

"Hey" I said, shocked. He looked at me guiltily, I wanted to be honest with him, I wanted him to grow up knowing the world wasn't all picket fences and rose bushes. I chewed my lip. "I hope not" I managed "I really hope not Charlie-bear"

It was then that the front door opened, and Daryl burst in again as if he took the stairs in one leap.

Charlie dived from the bed, Denise took his place, pulling the covers down to my ankles.

"Charlie," Daryl said, "maybe ya wanna go wait downstairs" I shook my head.

"No." Daryl and Charlie both looked at me "we can't protect him from life, Daryl, he's been a good boy keeping me company" I held out my hand, and Charlie skirted Daryl to stand by my side and hold it.

Denise did what she could, listened, asked questions, offered me Tylenol.

"There's not much else I can do, the baby's heartbeat is too weak to hear with a 'scope." Then Charlie squeezed my hand tight, saying

"Mom?" Nervously, and Daryl grabbed the doctor.

I tried to sit up, as Rosita's face fell.

"Oh shit," Denise said, looking around "we need to get you to Carson"

I looked down, a bright red rose of blood was spreading on the bedsheets...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Denise lives! I love Denise.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope it was worth the long wait. Thanks for reading x


End file.
